Halloween 2009

Max had the time of his life on Halloween, literally! I don’t think he’s ever had so much fun ever. This was his first time trick-or-treating because last year he wasn’t walking yet. He was sooo cute in his penguin costume. He looked like he was waddling like a penguin when he ran up and down driveways. We went trick-or-treating with his cousins who are 3 and 6 and wheeled the little ones around in a wagon from house to house. He wasn’t too sure of what they were doing in the beginning, but he followed their lead and eventually caught on. He actually went inside the first house and we had to go get him. We also had to stop him from taking too much candy and the first couple of houses because Max would just keep taking candy and didn’t know that he should stop. It was funny hearing people say “just take three” and then watching Max keep taking candy since he didn’t know how to count to three. Eventually he learned the etiquette. He rang door bells, would try to say trick-or-treat and thank you, but always made sure to say “Bye Bye!” Actually, when we told him to say thank you, he’d say “youelcome”. He did get distracted by some balloons on people’s porches and one croquette set. He also pointed at Halloween decorations and asked “What’s this?” and people at the doors would try to explain. Towards the end of the night, he was getting tired and we could see that he felt like getting out of the wagon, running up to the door with his bucket of candy, and then coming back to the wagon was hard work, but he didn’t want to stop

So, what was the reward for all of that hard work? Since he had never had candy before and probably didn’t know what he was collecting, I only let him have half of a fun size kit kat at the end of the night. We left all the candy at his cousins’ and he didn’t miss it. He also learned the words “Halloween”, “funny”, and “pumpkin”.

10/29/09

I was going to the post the entry below after entering the second trimester, but unfortunately, we didn’t get that far. I was 9 weeks and 6 days along at my second OB appt last Friday. The OB said she’d try to find a heartbeat, but usually you can’t hear one until 10 weeks. She couldn’t find one and scheduled an ultrasound for viability on Monday. I wasn’t freaking out at that point because I usually don’t freak about things until something bad actually happens and I hadn't had any symptoms of miscarriage. On Monday we had an ultrasound and I could tell that it wasn’t good. The OB told us that it was an anembryonic pregnancy cause by chromosomal abnormalities early on. I had pregnancy hormones and there was a placenta and embryonic sac that measured 8 weeks, but the sac was empty because the embryo didn’t development. She reassured us that it wasn’t a result of something we did and we couldn’t do anything to prevent it. It was devastating and shocking news, especially since my first pregnacy was sucessful. Nature is so cruel. I had all the pregnancy symptoms, but no baby. It made me felt, well, empty. We were very sad and still are, but we didn’t feel a huge sense of loss, partly because we didn’t lose an actual baby. Also, with Max, the pregnancy didn’t sink in until I saw the fetus this pregnancy hadn’t sunk in yet. I can’t imagine how devastating it is for this to happen during the first pregnancy. I’m very optimistic about our chances of conceiving again since it was really easy this last time. My OB said that we have fertility on our side, as evidenced by our first baby. It made me really appreciate my sweet little boy, who was super happy to see me when I picked him up from daycare on Monday and didn’t whine at all the whole day. It’s as if he knew I was going through a rough time and that he should take it easy on me.

After diagnosis, the OB recommended that I have a D&C since I hadn’t miscarried naturally already, and recommended doing it on Wednesday or Thursday. I’m still amazed at how fast medical decisions are made and treatments are done. I agreed to do the D&C because I felt that it’d help me heal faster emotionally and I just wanted to put this behind us asap so that we can try again sooner. I definitely wasn’t looking forward it to though. My OB explained the procedure to me, which I couldn’t really pay attention to since I was still processing a lot in my head. She said that she’d give me my old frenemy pitocin and anti biotics, which reminded me of my c-section. I’m getting sick of being poked and prodded. I made the appt for Thursday, but I couldn’t eat or sleep on Monday because I was stressing about the procedure, to the point where I only got three hours of sleep at night. I rescheduled for Wednesday because I couldn’t imagine another day of anxiety. On Tuesday, some of my pregnancy symptoms were already gone, probably because psychologically, I knew I wasn't really pregnant. I wasn't hungry all the time anymore and I didn't have to go to the bathroom as much. The D&C itself wasn’t bad. It was minor surgery, nothing compared to a c-section, but I had to be put under, which why I think I was stressing so much. It’s just such a weird and scary concept. The anesthesiologist met with us right before the procedure and said “I’m going to give you a little cocktail so you go to sleep… the Michael Jackson stuff. Don’t worry though. We’re professionals and we’ll monitor you the whole time.” That gave me and Hubby a nervous chuckle. And surely enough, all I remember was getting wheeled into the OR, the anesthesiologist asking if I felt sleepy and I said no, but I climbed onto the table and felt it immediately. They put some monitors and an oxygen mask on me and I was out.

I woke up in the recovery room with the mask still on and just felt groggy. The procedure only takes 20 minutes and I was in recovery for about an hour and then went home. I didn’t experience much pain at all, just some grogginess afterwards. I’m doing an abbreviated “reh zhi”, that Chinese recovery thing since they believe that having a miscarriage is like childbirth, but I’m definitely not missing out on Max’s first Halloween with trick-or-treating, so I’m going to venture out. Besides, I think the reh zhi just makes me more depressed, like it did after I had Max. I hate being confined and having no control or say over things. My OB warned us about having something similar to the baby blues since all the pregnancy hormones leave the body and I’m just bracing myself. So far I think I’m doing well. I did clear all of my work meetings. I was reluctant to and planning on going to work the next day, which the OB said was fine. But damn it, I’m going to put myself ahead of work for once. I’m just resting and taking it easy, which is something about the reh zhi I agree with.

I’m finding that almost everyone I know who was pregnant has had some kind of complication either with the pregnancy or childbirth. I think that’s why Chinese people don’t wait until the second trimester to announce their pregnancies and miscarriages aren’t viewed as such a devastating event. It’s more common than you think. I’m glad that have the support of my friends and family, especially those who know what I’ve gone through. And I’m starting to truly appreciate what a miracle it really is to have a child.

10/1/09

I’m 6.5 weeks pregnant! Hubby and I are very excited that we are going to have another baby! In a way, I still can’t believe it’s happening. I guess this is how I felt when I was pregnant the first time too. Physically, I know it’s happening. When I was 3 weeks pregnant, I started having all the symptoms. I was bloated, moody, tired, and I felt nauseous. Good thing, or else that would have been a very bad case of PMS! Now I’m still feeling the same. I’m much more tired now than the first time, to the point where I have no energy and just need to lie down or take a nap. I think it’s partly because I’m chasing after a toddler all day! I’m also waking up early for no reason. I wake up around 5:00 or 6:30 but I just go back to sleep if I don’t go to the bathroom. I figured I was fully rested for about 4 months since Max started sleeping consistently 4 months ago. Now I won’t be fully rested for another 27 months or so.

After taking the third pregnancy test (don’t ever take a generic drug store brand test, they aren’t very clear) I was really happy I found out I was pregnant. Then I started to worry. I felt sad for Max since he only had 9 more months before he’d had to share his parent’s affection with someone else. I vowed to make the next 9 months the best for him. I also worried about adding another person to our household; all of the added pressures of having a family of four instead of just three. I’m sure this is a natural feeling and we’ll be ok. I was happy though that he was going to have a sibling so that he wouldn’t be alone. I wonder how Max will react to the baby. He’s probably going to think at first “Ooh, a baby! Ok, why is this baby still here? It’s spending the night??? Wait a minute…”

I must say that the feelings and attitudes are different this time around. The first time, I tracked my ovulation and I was very calculated. This time it just happened. I had wanted to wait so that Max was a couple of months older so that it’d be easier with a more mature toddler and a newborn, but Hubby was worried that we’d have trouble conceiving since I wasn’t getting any younger, so better to be safe than sorry. There was no trouble at all! I’m not reading the pregnancy books every night like I used to and not obsessing over things. It’s much more relaxing this time around.

There’s something to be said about familiarity. I ended up going to the same OB. Even though she didn’t tell me that Max was a big baby, she thought that I’d deliver early, and she wasn’t at my delivery (can’t blame her, she was on vacation), I think she’s good, especially because she reassures me. I’ve also talked with other patients of hers who preferred her over other OBs. Choosing her means we’ll be at the same hospital again, but this time at least we know what to expect and we can head off problems before they occur. I know the next kid will be jaundice, so he/she will be in the tanning booth right off the bat.

What I am not looking forward too is the delivery. My OB said that I’d only have a 13% chance of a successful vaginal delivery because of the first unsuccessful try. And since Max was a big baby, she recommended a second c-section because it’d be a lot safer. No arguments here. I’m hoping though that the second c-section and recovery won’t be so bad since I won’t be spent from labor and won’t be going back and forth to the NICU.

The due date is May 23. We get to choose the birthday, so maybe we’ll do it closer to mine so that the baby will have a birthday on a holiday, like the rest of our family! The baby will be born in the year of the tiger, and supposedly, if it’s a girl, she’s going to have a very strong personality. Polar opposite of me? =P.

Last week I went to Columbus OH for work. I wasn’t too excited to go there since I usually go to Vegas or Denver to visit the P family, but this time I wasn’t able to choose my destination. There’s not much to do in Columbus, but surprisingly, this was my third time going there. I had spent a whole summer there when I was 5 because my Grandma took my brother and I there to stay with our Aunt since my parents took a trip to Asia. (I can’t believe my Grandma was able to take us there with no problems since she didn’t speak English and there are no direct flights to Columbus.). I went there again when my mom and dad took my brother and me on a road trip around the east coast and we started in Columbus.

Ok, I’ll be a bay area snob and say that I can’t imagine living in Columbus. There’s not much there to do and pretty much life is centered around high school and college football. I can’t imagine how my cousins grew up there (My uncle was a professor at Ohio State University). But I must say that there is one thing that Columbus has that we don’t, and that is White Castle.

I had White Castle for the first time when I was five. I remember the little burgers being so good, they were juicy, flavorful, and small, which was great for a five year old. They were always hot and so tasty and they practically melted in your mouth. After watching Saturday Night Fever, Harold and Kumar, and some Food Network shows, I just craved them more. Even though you can buy the sliders at supermarkets here, they just aren’t the same.

I had forgotten that White Castle is in Columbus and my eyes lit up when I saw one while I was driving. I couldn’t wait to go. The people I went to Columbus with last week had no interest in going to White Castle and they didn’t think I was even serious that I wanted to go. I had finally decided that I’d go myself and asked the front desk where I stayed about the closest, safest White Castle. They actually said that there aren’t any really safe locations in Columbus, and I think they were right since the one I drove by looked kinda sketchy. The only other one I passed by was near the office, 15 minutes away from the hotel. So I just let it go. But now I can’t stop thinking about it! I need to go there once again and hopefully not be disappointed since I could have completely different tastes now then what I had back when I was a kid.

I bet this is what mid-westerners feel when they come out here and eat an It’s It. Haha.

Max can:

1. Throw his trash away in the trash can.

2. Put his dirty clothes in the hamper.

3. Pick up his toys or anything else he dumps on the floor if we say "clean up."

4. Sweep the floor (but not very well =P)

I hope he continues this through his teenage years!

To Bowl Cut or Not to Bowl Cut

I just gave Max another hair cut. It was his third or fourth ever. It was getting long and starting to cover his ears and touching his eyebrows, which is when I know he’s due for a haircut. But whenever he gets a haircut, his grandmothers chide me, “Why did you cut his hair??? Don’t cut it so short!!! He’s cuter with longer hair…hair like a girl” (Keep in mind that last sentence is coming from a Chinese grandmother.) I can give him just a little trim and it’s met by protests. Even Hubby doesn’t want me to cut his hair.

I can’t say I disagree that he is cuter with longer hair; I just don’t know how to style it other than a bowl cut, or something like it. That’s look that the people want! Can you imagine him with a buzz cut? I’ve tried using clippers before and he was afraid of them. So it’s even harder to achieve an even cut since he doesn’t stay still when I go at it with scissors. One side is always longer than the other since I let him play with water in the bathtub while I cut and he’s doesn’t face forward, so I spend the next couple of days trying to fix it. And to avoid a bowl looking cut, I try to layer a bit. Even if I part it to one side, his hair just falls forward.

His more clean cut days…

When a bowl cut works for him...going 10 mph on a kiddie ride with the wind in his hair

His hippie days….

18 Months

Max had his appt with the Ped a couple of weeks ago and his stats were 33.5 in tall, 49.1cm, and 25 lbs 14 oz, which was about the 88^th percentile, but only 50^th percentile for weight. Max’s growth is starting to slow down, but he’s still tall. The Ped wasn’t worried about his weight because he’s been walking and very active. He’s so skinny now though! No longer the chubs that he once was. He still has some drumsticks though, hehe.

I always wondered what 18 months was like since it seems like a big milestone. Here are some of his recent developments:

After he started walking, it’s like he moved on and focused on verbal communication. In two weeks he learned 8 or so words! He’s even learned two word phrases like no more and all done. He also understands much more too. The other day I asked “Where’s your milk?” and then he went to look for his milk cup and led me to it (way on the other side of the house). Two way communication, what advancement! He definitely prefers speaking English to Mandarin though.

Now that he’s mastered walking, he’s started to run! He’s not too fast yet though so I can still catch him, whew!

Maybe that all of the walking/running is wearing him out during the day, because he sleeps 11.5 hours consistently at night and his daily nap is about 2-3 hours. Much better than the 10 hours total he used to do. (Fingers crossed that this lasts!)

He is feeding himself more and more and can even eat corn on the cob by himself. He’s still really messy and after awhile, he becomes impatient and uses his hands. Why not? It’s just easier. Corn is one of his favorites along with watermelon, grapes, and cottage cheese. He loves fruit! Meat and veggies, not so much. His tastes keep changing though. He used to love string cheese but not anymore. I’m just happy he hasn’t hit a food jag where he only eats one thing and refuses to eat anything else.

He can throw pretty well overhand, which is pretty advanced for his age. I say he’s in training for the Major Leagues =)

He now laughs at what he watches on TV. He’ll laugh at Ni Hao Kai-Lan when the characters make silly faces.

He’s trying to learn how to jump. He’ll crouch down and the spring back up, but not catch any air. He also will stand at the top of steps and leap (or fall, really) into my arms. He’s a dare devil already!

His molars have come in and he has a few more to go. You can tell that he’s miserable because he screams in pain during the night and wakes up really grumpy and cranky =( But now he’s able to eat new foods with his newfound chewing ability.

His expressions are hilarious. He’s very entertaining and there’s hardly a dull moment when we’re with him. Although he’s shy at first when he’s in a group of new people, he warms up pretty quick and does the “it’s hot” bit to get some laughs. (See Hubby’s blog for video.)

He doesn’t test me as much anymore, so I’m hoping that means he’s learning what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not. He does have some tantrums sometimes and when he does something really bad, we give him a stern stare down with a “NO! or BAD!” and he knows he did something wrong since we mean business. He looks down and gives a little frown and we have to really hold in our giggles because it’s so cute when he does it.

We also recently went on our first vacation. We spent 5 days in Vegas with the grandparents. His first flight wasn’t that bad. He did have a meltdown, but it wasn’t long (at least to me anyway. I don’t know how everyone around us felt =P). He really wanted to walk around and explore, so it was hard containing him to our row. I think things would have been much better if we had his car seat and strapped him in so that he was forced to sit. The flight back was great though. The flight was during his nap time so he fell asleep right after take-off and woke up during landing. While in Vegas, we visited the aquarium, the children’s museum (yes there is one in Vegas) and went swimming, which is almost everything you can do with a toddler in Vegas and 107 degree heat. I think all of the new experiences and sights really contributed to his development, which really makes me want to a lot more new things with him. One I thing I learned was that having a harness (oh, let’s just call it a leash) is a good idea in public places because Max sometimes refused to be strapped in the stroller and he would just take off away from me. This is what parents had warned me about. Stupid me didn’t have time to buy one before we left, so I had to chase him down a lot! On a side note about our vacation, I actually won in Vegas. Second time ever! And it was great seeing a pregnant H.J., especially since I haven’t received any updates or pics (ehem, ehem….=P)

I have to say that being a parent of a toddler is quite challenging. Although at the time I didn’t realize it, taking care of an infant was much easier than an active toddler. I find myself being in a test of wills with Max constantly. I suppose I should encourage him exerting his independence since its normal at this stage, but man, Max tests me a lot. For example:

Max started rejecting pureed foods a couple of months ago and demanded finger foods. It was challenging to find new acceptable foods that he could gum since he only had front teeth.

At first Max didn’t object to playing in his play yard that takes up half of our dining room. It was great to put him there when we needed a safe place for him when left unsupervised. Now he won’t have any part of it and starts protesting since putting him in the play yard means that we’re not giving him attention.

Max started refusing to sit in his highchair. At first I just thought that he didn’t want to eat. I had contemplated not feeding him, since that was the advice I got (they won’t starve), but I didn’t want him to be cranky for the grandparents or at daycare from being hungry. I decided to try sitting him in his booster seat and he had no objections. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to eat, he just didn’t want to sit in the high chair, which I don’t understand since the high chair looks more comfy to me.

A couple of weeks ago, Max started refusing to eat again. He refused foods that he gladly ate before. I thought about letting him go hungry again, but didn’t. In the midst of my frustration and desperation, I put the rice bowl in front of him with his fork and just sat there. He started feeding himself! So the problem was he wanted to self-feed. Now I let him feed everything himself everything, even noodle soup, which is very messy. I think he must self-feed at daycare since he started this behavior a little after daycare stared.

Max now prefers to walk instead of crawling, and now he will walk AWAY from me. This is what other mothers had warned me about, since once they start walking away from you, you’ll always be trying to catch them. They told me I’d start longing for those days when I could put Max down and he’d stay put. Just wait until he starts running. Leash or no leash?

I don’t know how many times a day I say no or “not in the mouth!” He likes to defy me, especially when he plays in Pocky’s food and bowls. Ahhh!

I must say that I had much more patience during infancy. At the same time though, it’s great to see him learn and go through this period of self discovery as he and I both realize that he’s not a baby anymore. Interacting with him now is so much fun. I’m hoping that the terrible two’s aren’t going to be that bad though!